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When a Kitty Dies...

This is actually posted at a message board I go to.  However, I wanted to share it with folks who don't go there, too.

During the course of my lifetime (as of November 2009),  I have lost three dozen cats... Each one rips a piece of me away when they leave. BUT, each one leaves a piece of themselves with me to hold onto until we meet again.

At first all I feel is the missing piece. I feel as if, as my cousin puts it, I am Living Inside a Scream. It's like something reached in and grabbed a huge chunk of my soul and brutally yanked it out...it bleeds, it hurts, and there's this HUGE empty spot where it used to be. And I think, "How am I supposed to live with this big empty spot? I'll just cave in."

However, as time passes, that piece my kitty left me starts to grow in the empty space. It's almost like a skin graph--there is something there to cover the hole, but the scar remains and sometimes it aches, sometimes it Burns. But sometimes, more and more often, it gives me comfort. S/He is STILL with me...and Always will be. I can talk to that little piece of kitty and s/he WILL hear me.

I am also comforted by KNOWING that there is More after we die. The cats know this too.

I don't think they fear death the way people do. They are FAR more spiritual than the highest yogi, priest, shaman...it is no accident that witches have used them as familiars and the Egyptians welcomed them into their homes in a similar capacity. They see between the worlds, and they KNOW there is something more and they do not fear it.

My cats, all of them, are obsessed with closed doors, closets, cupboards, anything that they know there is something more behind...they are naturally curious and want to see more of what they can only glimpse. I think they look at death as no different than going through a door that was formerly closed.

Have you ever watched a bird fly? Actually, not just fly, but in the spring when they play on the breeze that is bursting with the scents of waking life? The JOY they must feel! The freedom! The exhilaration! I can imagine how they feel, but my only glimpse of it was when I set Bunny free. He went to the Bridge in my arms. There was such a profound feeling of peace that washed over me as he passed and the expression on his face was pure joy, like when he saw me take out the nippy jar or the milk jug...Peace and Joy is what he felt. He gave that to me like a good night kiss. I hold that close to me. It is a treasure.

We weep not for them, for they are FREE. We weep for ourselves because we miss them. We miss the joy and love they gave us. NOBODY, no person, EVER loves you the way an animal does. The Love is Pure and thus so is the Pain.

Gentle Hugs to all who have lost...




Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
new_york_doll
Dec. 19th, 2008 09:44 pm (UTC)
I followed this from your link in Brer Rabbit's comments. This is wonderful -- and it brings me comfort. Thank you.

Do you mind if I add you?

Edited at 2008-12-19 09:45 pm (UTC)
wyrdwriter
Dec. 19th, 2008 10:10 pm (UTC)
I am so very sorry for your loss!!! There really is no pain like it and so close to the Holidays makes it all the worse--been there.
*HUGS*

No, I don't mind if you add me at all.
ext_186857
May. 22nd, 2009 09:17 pm (UTC)
What a beautiful post. I know it was written some time ago, but it's no less poignant today.

Thank you for sharing such beauty.
lacombe
Jan. 2nd, 2010 04:18 am (UTC)
I put this link aside to read when I had time. This... this is absolutely beautiful, and the truth I see in it is so comforting. I miss my Tama and Mr. Dream, but you're right. I have little kitty voices inside of me- I still talk about them and others I've lost as if they're friends I saw just the other day. My kitties are parts of me, and man, what a patchwork I'm going to be someday.

Courage to you for bearing 25 evolutions with strength, healing, and the power to love again.
(Anonymous)
Jan. 24th, 2010 12:51 am (UTC)
Thank you
Kimber,
thank you for linking this to my face book page. It gives me so much comfort right now.
I am lost without my boy. But am so relived for him that he is free of pain. I know I will get better with time. I just don't know yet how. I have prayed for forgiveness and hope that with time my heart will be healed as well. But truth be told, I wouldn't have want to have missed the last 17 years with my precious boy.
Thank you so much.

Christine aka Caesar's mom
(Anonymous)
Nov. 23rd, 2010 02:12 am (UTC)
Issy...when a kitty dies....
Kimber, thank you so much for leaving this for me and Issy, as her goodnight kiss - and a very beautiful one...your words have meant so much to us...she sleeps beside me for the final night...I will ask her to look for Aradia, when she reaches Rainbow Bridge..and we take the long walk home. Bless you kitty Angel xxxxx
(Anonymous)
Aug. 22nd, 2012 01:16 am (UTC)
When a Kitty Dies
I have never heard it expressed this way before and it is totally beautiful. I lost two of my cats this summer. One in May the other in July and it hurts soooooo bad. Thank you for sharing this. It is such an enormous help! Nancy
(Anonymous)
Dec. 5th, 2012 11:18 pm (UTC)
what to do now?
my beoved one died yestreday. CRF killed my beautiful boy. How do i stop crying? how do i live now? how to dtop the pain...?
n_decisive
Jan. 15th, 2013 01:55 am (UTC)
Thanks for sharing this with me. It means a lot. <3
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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