I miss Sabbats, I forget birthdays, hell, even Christmas seems to sneak up on me and take me by surprise. However, August 8th, for me, is Sacred. It is the anniversary of two very special souls leaving this world and, poignantly most memorable to me, mostly leaving my life. I don’t even have to think about the date approaching—I become increasing melancholy without having to so much as look at a calendar. My soul remembers this date and holds it Holy. How Ironic that I would lose Lou on the anniversary of Bunny’s passing! You see, if not for Bunny, I more than probably would have never met Lou—we both had diabetic cats, we both found the Feline Diabetes Message Board and the rest, as they so often say, is History.
You can say or believe whatever you want about people-you-meet-on-the-internet…*I* know the folks that I have met because of chronically ill cats are some of the most AMAZING human beings that anyone could be privileged to know. They are some of the most loving, supportive, patient, giving people I have ever met. They have more courage, strength, persistence and intelligence in their little fingers than most Goddesses have in their entire bodies. “Not Possible” and/or Failure are unacceptable to these women. We were given diabetic cats because of these traits…and so that we could meet each other. Feline Diabetes was a Blessing.
This post was originally very different…
but even though Lou is on the other side, I can still hear her (my family is known for hearing the dead) and the original version isn’t what SHE wanted. I am writing this New-Improved-Version with Lou whispering in my ear, leaning over my shoulder and watching me type. You see, this was going to be a sad tribute to two souls that damn near burst my heart to lose…but she says that she and Bunny don’t want that…”Celebrate our LIVES, Kimber, not the tragedy you feel about our deaths...”
Bunny always ATE Life, Devoured it like the tastiest meal set before him. Lou was just beginning to learn how to do that when her cancer came. The fact is, they both did
EAT
Life…
Even if it was just for a little while. Grab everything with both hands.
Eat chocolate or cheese and splurge once in a while on the expensive wine or the fruit that is out-of-season but you are so hungry for…
Let the dust bunnies pile up—they will still be here tomorrow…you might not.
HUG people, HUG those you love EVERY chance you get—Lou and Bunny were both Huggers.
Read all the books you can.
Watch all the movies you can.
Don’t forget to talk to people…it’s easy to go into your own world, but those we love, human and animal, are so important and so very temporary.
Take NOTHING for granted. Each day is a Gift…whether it’s a bad day or a good day, it is still a day that at least one special thing happened—you heard a good joke, you saw a rainbow, you felt rain on your face, you held a cat while he purred…these are all brief blessings, but should be counted as blessings no matter what else goes wrong.
No matter what happens, there are always people who love you and care about you and whether you know it or not, you make a difference in their lives.
It’s not easy to be brave…and it’s OK not to be—that’s why we have friends, to carry us when our legs are too tired to stand.
One Brave Woman and One Brave Cat. I will never be able to sum up in mere words what they taught me or what they will forever mean to me. All I can say is that I will be Eternally Grateful that these two Very Special Souls touched MY Life…and changed it forever. Blessed Be!!!
Footnote: “Thank you mummy and “E”…I love you.” And something about SOCKS…she keeps showing me a drawer full of socks.
- Mood:
indescribable
- Mood:
sad - Music:Kiss From a Rose by Seal
I think I am going to have to put Woody down this week. The lump on his nose never did go back down this last time. He is still eating good, but seems dehydrated, and NO, I cannot give him sub-q, he is NOT that kind of cat. I put meds in his eye yesterday because it was runny, and that looks better, but he is NOT himself and is a bit wobbly on his feet. For the last few days he has gone outside without even having breakfast. He sleeps in one of the flower beds until supper time and then comes in and eats about 3 ounces or so of canned food. Tonight I gave him tuna water, which he loves.
I had hoped he would make Bunny and Louise's anniversary in August. Anubis died 7/24/08. I knew he was sick, we found the tumor a year ago and I had recently noticed his motor skills deteriorating like Annie's did as the cancer spread into her brain, but....I'm still typing through tears. I guess you are never ready for these things.He didn't even know how to play when we got him, but I have pictures of him playing with toys months after we took him in. If those assholes had bothered to get him neutered, he probably never would have gotten the FIV...instead they threw him out to live on the streets for seven years...We managed to give him two years of love, warmth, security, food and water. At least he got to experience that much. I know he knows he is loved.
- Mood:
heartbroken
Thursday she was hitting me for milk, but had been more picky than usual about eating. Thursday evening she wasn't acting right. I did get her to eat some treats and some milk but that was all. Friday morning she was staggering and I took her in. They decided early renal failure, gave her 100 ml of ringers and a B-12 shot and sent her home with SubQ kit and Clavamox. I knew she was not going to be OK. I took her out in the garden for about an hour. At 1:30 last night I saw her go into the living room. I found her there under a bookshelf this morning at 5, she had been dead a while...
Charlie didn't want to tell the old lady she is dead. The lady sent Christmas Presents for Mimi and the other cats and had called once to check on Mimi. The daughter had lied when she said that the lady didn't love the cat. *I* think it would be best to cremate Mimi and give the lady most of her ashes.
She died the day after Annie's Wing Anniversary. Less than 3 months after Misha. We only had her six months, but it was long enough to love her, long enough to miss her.
Safe Journey, Little One.
In the last ten days we have had tuna, and ham, and chicken and cream...and Mimi got a little bit of each one. I feel a bit better knowing she got some of her favorite foods during her last days.
- Mood: sad
It's not just a dog
Click-2-ListenWednesday, January 14, 2009
Last week, while visiting Dr. John Allred's office, I noticed a short article posted on the bulletin board and started reading it. The article really got to me and I decided to do today's column about it. Anyone who has ever loved an animal, whether a dog, cat, bird, ferret, or whatever animal should find it very moving because most of us have heard the comment, "it's just an animal."
Here it is, word for word, as it is perfect as written. At the end of the article was the notation, "author unknown." There was no mention of the publication in which it appeared.
"From time to time people tell me, "Lighten up, it's just a dog," or, "That's a lot of money for just a dog." They don't understand the distance traveled, time spent, or costs involved for "just a dog." Some of my proudest moments have come about with "just a dog." Many hours have passed with my only company being "just a dog," and not once have I felt slighted. Some of my saddest moments were those brought about by "just a dog." In those days of darkness, the gentle touch of "just a dog" provided comfort and purpose to overcome the day.
"If you, too, think it's "just a dog," you will probably understand phrases like "just a friend," "just a sunrise," or "just a promise." "Just a dog" brings into my life the very essence of friendship, trust, and pure unbridled joy. "Just a dog" brings out the compassion and patience that makes me a better person. Because of "just a dog," I will rise early, take long walks and look longingly to the future.
"For me and folks like me, it's not "just a dog." It's an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future, the fond memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment. "Just a dog" brings out what's good in me and diverts my thoughts away from myself and the worries of the day.
"I hope that someday people can understand it's not "just a dog." It's the thing that gives me humanity and keeps me from being "just a man or woman."
"So the next time you hear the phrase "just a dog," smile, because they "just don't understand."
As mentioned at the beginning of this article, the person who wrote this is not known. It is difficult to determine whether the writer may have been a man or woman. Doesn't matter, really, as it seems quite clear the writer is an individual who loved and appreciated animals, especially dogs.
If readers have ever made a genuine connection with any animal that shared a home and life with a person, they will understand the genuine bond that can develop between the two. When the animal lives to a ripe old age (hopefully), it will at some point become ill and die. That is the time we all know "it isn't just a dog."
- Mood:
thoughtful
Her eyes met mine as she walked down the corridor peering apprehensively into the kennels. I felt her need instantly and knew I had to help her. I wagged my tail, not too exuberantly, so she wouldn't be afraid. As she stopped at my cage I blocked her view from a little accident I had in the back of it. I didn't want her to know that I missed the small litter box. Sometimes the shelter keepers get too busy and I didn't want her to think poorly of them.
As she read my kennel card I hoped that she wouldn't feel sad about my past. I only have the future to look forward to and want to make a difference in someone's life. She put her fingers inside my cage and made little kissy sounds at me. I shoved my shoulder and side of my head up against the bars to comfort her. Gentle fingertips caressed my neck; she was desperate for companionship. A tear fell down her cheek and I raised my paw to assure her that all would be well. Soon my cage door opened and her smile was so bright that I instantly jumped into her arms.
I would promise to keep her safe. I would promise to always be by her side. I would promise to do everything I could to see that radiant smile and sparkle in her eyes. I was so fortunate that she came down my corridor. So many more are out there who haven't walked the corridors. So many more to be saved. At least I could save one.
I rescued a human Nov 1, 2001 and left this world Dec 26, 2008.
I will watch over her forever. She will never be alone because I will always be by her side, even if she doesn't see me. I will never break the promises I made to her over 7 years ago. Our time together on earth was too short.
One day we will be together again, forever.
Bumper (GA)
Image is a beautiful short-haired silver tabby cat with large golden eyes.
I am wishing Bumper safe journey and wishing all who love her peace. Blessed Be!!!
- Mood: sad
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
ramboconan thinking of you and remembering your sweet, courageous boy on this sad anniversary.HUGS...
"Those we have held in our arms for a little while, we hold in our hearts forever"
- Mood:
contemplative
My Faith does not believe in Hell. We believe you come back--that LIFE IS HELL.
Until you have sat by and watched someone you love die, sat totally helpless, exhausted any and all avenues of hope in an attempt to save them, you do not know what Hell is. I have done it over and over--human and animal. I am doing it again. I had Hope, it is fading...Fact can drown hope faster than a tidal wave can take a small village...
Yet I will continue to cling to hope like Jack clung to that piece of wreckage in Titanic. I will keep fighting and keep trying, because that is how I am made. I can't help it, it's how he wrote me--I try to dance to the music even after the music stops. If you Believe...
If you BELIEVE...
Schrodinger's Cat.
I did it once.
Not ten minutes ago I sat on the floor of my kitchen and stroked the fur of a purring cat that should NOT be here. He is very alive. He is very here. He is coming up on five years past his "expiration date". I Believed and I refused to accept the facts...and he is still here.
I did it once.
I've tried over and over to do it again.
If I BELIEVE.
Schrodinger's Cat.
My Great Uncle studied physics under Einstein. That makes me one degree away...
If I BELIEVE.
Schrodinger's Cat.
They had beers together.
I am a Kalvaitis. I am drinking beer and trying to BELIEVE.
Schrodinger's Cat.
I saved Bunny for almost six years.
We beat the odds over and over...
With the diabetes we were told two years and we got almost six
with the cancer we were told six months and got seven and a half--*GOOD* months...
in the end, I could not save him.
I DID save Riley--even when all the evidence and all the facts told me I would NOT.
I have "spent" cat after cat trying to do it again.
Can I pull a rabbit out of a hat?
Can I pull a miracle out of the air by sure WILL?
Is it my doubt that destroys the end result?
Schrodinger's Cat.
BELIEVE.
Gaiman says Gods exist because we believe in them.
All I have to do is believe in one orange cat...
- Mood:
Trying Hard to BELIEVE - Music:The Hardest Part by Cold Play
I was stressed and uptight because Woody is not eating hardly at all today...
and then I got a BAD phone call...
My friend's 19-year old son was in a car accident and is dead. Their 28-year old son was brutally murdered August 1, 1999...and now sweet Brian's life has been cut short, too. My heart breaks for them!
I've known this kid most of his life. I remember the gentle dark-eyed boy with the winning smile who loved all animals. I haven't seen him since about this time two years ago...
and the next time I see him he will be in a coffin.
Life is horrifically cruel.
minmay7 used to babysit him, and she, too, is shocked and devastated by this news.It was Brian's cat that adopted my Lazarus and saved his life. Lazy was too young to be without a mum...and Brian's cat was the mother of my Gato, who was Lazy's foster sibling. He was always so sweet with animals...the world desperately needs more sweet souls like that, and we just seem to keep on losing them.
- Mood: sad
The way we got Anubis and his siblings:
Somebody let their pregnant cat outside. She had her babies in the field behind where we worked. We were never able to catch the babies and they became feral/wild cats...who eventually had babies of their own. Isis had her babies under a pallet--it is very lucky that the guy picking it up with a forklift didn't injure any of them! We moved the kittens to a box and kept feeding their mother near the box. Ferals will keep their kittens near a food source. One day when they were *maybe* 4.5 weeks old, we found one of the kittens had climbed out of the box. Realizing that if we had to catch them before they were old enough to run from us, we brought them home. I taught them to eat and washed them and became Momma. We were going to adopt them out, but after mothering the babies I couldn't bear to part with them.
- Mood:
melancholy - Music:I Will Remember You by Sarah McLachlan
The outpouring of support has been amazing...
the posts to him have surpassed Bunny's passing (Bunny has since become a Feline Diabetes Legend--Da John Henry of Sugar Cats...something that would make him VERY happy) and Sam, my Exceptionally Brave Lion Heart Boy who touched so many with his fight to live. Honestly, I am amazed and very touched!
Once again, "strangers on the internet " and their outpouring of kindness, understanding and love, have carried me through Dark times...and I am Thankful.
- Mood:
thankful
I have been NUMB through most of this. We lost Kitty and Annie seven days apart in April. I was not emotionally equipped to deal with the thought of losing another one three months later. Dee had the same symptoms and pulled through three times...
but I kept thinking how many we lose before they are 11. If I can get them past ten, they do well, but...Noobie turned 10 this month...
They drew his blood at three today and his white cell count had Doubled. They went in to check on him an hour later and he was dead. He died far from home, alone, in a cage.
I can't breathe
I am shocked
and
devastated
and so much is going through my head right now
I failed him. There is nothing anyone can say to convince me any different.
I failed him.
- Mood:
crushed
“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...
...and you finish off as an orgasm.”
~~George Carlin
- Mood: sad
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